ePub Queen Victoria ePub

by A.E. Moorat

April 2010

First Reads win.

I haven’t paid much attention to the recent flood of Classic Novels With A Supernatural/Horror/Sci-fi Twist, or the tsunami of Historical Figure As Secret Defender Of Mankind stories that followed.Truth is, I was really holding out for Cultist in the Rye (“After his expulsion from boarding school, as well as the Sacred Brotherhood of Blessed Darkness—no thanks to that phony Stradlater and his phony plastic skulls-and-candles rituals—teenaged satanist Holden Caulfield spends one final weekend in New York as he prepares to wake the Old Ones and bring an end to this phony, phony world”), but that’s probably not gonna happen.C’mon, Salinger’s been dead for months; surely his estate has cashed in by now!No?Aww.I guess I’ll have to console myself with lesser works—like this!Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter.Catchy title, catchy cover, and how could I ignore the following blurb?Colon:

"There were many staff at Kensington Palace, fulfilling many roles; a man who was employed to catch rats, another whose job it was to sweep the chimneys. That there was someone expected to hunt Demons did not shock the new Queen; that it was to be her was something of a surprise."

Oh, Goodreads, you lied to me.

It’s like a really awesome trailer for a really lackluster movie, where all the good jokes and awesome lines from the two-minute video turn out to be the only good bits in the whole two-hour snorefest.You thought she’d be some kind of badass monster slayer, right?Latest in a long line of royalty keeping Britain safe from the forces of darkness, banishing demons between royal functions, not being amused at all, that sort of thing, right?Wrong!Victoria’s just a regular old queen (or is she?) whose throne is somewhat threatened by an ancient demon bloodline, but not to worry, there are other people who do the demon-slayin’ for her...that is, until her husband Albert gets kidnapped by werewolves.Then it really gets not amusing personal.Cue training montage.Eighties music probably doesn’t work here.And then she breaks out the steampunk weaponry and saves the day.Fun, sure, and kudos for having a strong heroine (and more kudos for a great depiction of the utter squalor of Victorian London), but really, it wasn’t worth it.After a fairly dull story about young Victoria and her handsome prince, with several poorly-developed zombie subplots and a not-very-threatening demonic conspiracy, the epic and chaotic demon-slaying climax feels kinda tacked on and, well, really boring.Really.Boring.Shocking, I know.Not even the mountains of gore and intestines can save this book.

It's a bit sad, really—I was expecting it to be entertaining and amusing, nothing great, a solid three stars, but really, it wasn't even that good.I don’t know what to believe anymore.If they can’t even do Queen Victoria well, I don’t think Zombie Salinger has a chance.

eBook tags: queen, victoria, epub, download, epub, a.e. moorat

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ISBN
Book Title
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GanreHorror
Pages count376
eBook formatPaperback, (torrent)En
File size6.9 Mb
Book rating3.54 (2110 votes)
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